Not So Seriously, Folks

Okay, in order to get a blog posted before midnight (in order to keep my self-imposed rule about posting everyday in lent---sorry to make you suffer my self-imposed rule), I'm just going to be silly for a moment. (During lent? I know . . . )

So, given that the real issue with the ban on gay and lesbian clergy is on the expression of their same-sex attraction (because, technically, you can be an out gay man or lesbian and still get ordained so long as you promise not to have sex, ever), I want to just ask some questions.

How far does this go?

I think it's a given that any genital activity is forbidden. I think that's clear.

But how about holding hands? Could two men hold hands? How about those handshakes where the clasping lasts a little too long?

Or say two women rent a movie and watch it together at one's house. Can they sit on the love seat together? Can they sit closely, leaning on each other? Would putting an arm around a shoulder while watching a romantic comedy be enough to get one removed from the ELCA roster?

Can a man gently caress another man's cheek?

Can a woman nuzzle another woman's neck during a hug?

Does one have to shut down emotionally around people of their own sex and never look lovingly at them? Does a clergy person have to report a crush?

Because, frankly, all of the above is expressing my sexuality and none of it has to involve nudity, much less genitalia.

If I found a man who would sleep in another room, never let me see or touch him (and vice versa) while he was nude, but might touch my cheek tenderly now and then . . . could I have that and be on the ELCA roster?

Just asking.

(and the little clock in the corner of my computer screen tells me it's 12:03. Rats. Didn't make it, even by being less serious.)